crazy hubby says:
Hi dear Anjali aunty, I am trying to do a crazy thing, please help.
I have been visiting this blog for couple of years now & really appreciate the advice, guidance & suggestions given by you. It’s really nice to know that from our country there is some one to whome we all can turn to get answers, advice to these complicated things which is seen as uncommon in our country.
Now I think I need your precious advice. It’s been just over a year since I got married to a very beautiful girl. she loves me a lot & so do I. Sometime back I took her to one of my office party & there one of our collegue was literally looking at my wife & I don’t know why but I really got turned on by this, I don’t know whether this is normal among other newely married husbands, but that’s what I felt.
From that day I started thinking about what if my wife has sex with him. When I went to my office I went to him & frankly asked him why was he staring at my wife & he started complementing my wife’s beauty & I just cut the topic there. After couple of days I met him again & we sat down & I frankly told him that I really liked when he was staring my wife & he also expressed his desire to bed my wife with him & I told him that I’ll have to first find out whether my wife is intrested in this & this is where I need your help.
Although he has seen my wife in the party, I don’t think my wife would remember him since they never met. I thought to my self that I’ll introduce him to my wife & he can try & seduce her & finally he can have her & infact this is the plan we worked out. Now I just can’t go to my wife & ask her that would she like to have sex with this guy, I am afraid that incase she doesn’t like it our relationship would be strained. So before doing anything I want to make sure from her actions whether she likes or would accept extramarital sex if it happens to her & I request you to please tell me the signs I can get from her if she was intrested in this kind of things.
Please tell me in our day to day life what are the signs I should look for which would indicate that my wife likes or wouldn’t mind having sex with another man. If the signs from her are positive only then I will goahead & introduce him to my wife. I don’t want my wife to come to know that I am involved in this & if all goes well & once my wife has had sex with him, then I am planning to slowly let her know that I knew about this & it was perfectly OK with me & want to reassure her that I still love her as much as I did before this incedent, if at all this incedent takes place.
So aunty please let me know what are the signs I should look for which indicated that my wife likes adultrous things & any advice regarding this, any do’s & dont’s are well come.
Reply as soon as possible, will be waiting.
Aunty Anjali says:
Hi Crazy Hubby.
First off I think you are walking down a really dangerous road here. That is not to say that it can’t lead to a great and open sex life with your wife for the rest of your days but there is much greater chance that the whole thing blows up in your face and you are left with a broken relationshiop or even a divorce.
I would say that most men have fantasies of extra-marital sex wether it is the hubby having sex with another woman, or the wife having sex with a man or threesomes and more somes. This is just the way guys think it seems. The reality is that these fantasies rarely play our the way you invision. Most of the time one partner is not that intersted and the rest of the time there are jealousy issues at stake.
Having said all that if you still want to give it a try, you need to start with the conversation on this somehow. Joking about it always works. If you see a sexy movie scene make a comment about it or maybe you notice a stranger looking at her, make a sexy comment, or perhaps you catch her looking at a stranger. If you make your way to a beach, catch her looking at a well endowed man and make a comment like “he looks like he packs a real punch” or something like that. See what her reaction is to these comments.
The best advice for not breaking up your relationship over this is to take your time. Make sure that she is into it before you come out and say something.
Maybe some readers of FSI blog have done this before and can comment on how they got their wife or husband into this. Just ignore the comments like “just tell her to do it”
Good luck!