I am thinking of an affair.

divya says:

Hi anjali aunty, I am going to do a thing which I thought I would never do. I need your advice on this.

I never had a boyfriend my first sex was with my hubby. It’s been three years since our marriage & I started loosing intrest in sex with my hubby just after four months after my marriage. when ever my husband wants I push my self to satisfy him, but I don’t get satisfied. I love my husband & I will always keep loving him. But for the sake of sexual pleasure I have started to look towards some one else.

This man works in my office, although much elder to me he is not married. He has been looking at me for some time now & offlate I also have developed intrest in him. We have started talking & that’s how I know that he is not married & he knoes about my married life.

When I started talking to him, some of my close female coworkers told me not to get close to him as he goes to hookers & things like that & this is where I really got turned on & intrested in him. I thought to my self that what ever he does is his problem, but if he is going to hookers then he must be really knowing how to satisfy a girl & I feel that I will get what I want with him.

Well I ignored my friends advice & kept talking to him & now we are like really close & we both have expressed our feelings to eachother & it’s not the question of if it happens but when it happens & when ever it happens I want to go for it.

As i am doing it for the first time, there is always the element of guilt of having sex with some other man, but I guess If I have to expierence the true pleasure of sex I have to overcome my guilt & I am mentally prepared to do it.

I need your advice, please advice me on how to go about the whole thing & when I finally sleep with him I don’t think it will be a one night stand, because both of us would want to do it again & again for some time. So is there anything I should keep in mind before going ahead with this.

Please reply

Aunty Anjali says:

Hello Divya.

I think that you are really setting yourself up for a big disappointment here. You think that just because he is having sex left and right that he knows what he is doing. If he is having sex with hookers don’t you think that would mean he has trouble finding sex elsewhere and has to pay women to satify him. If he was a real good lover women would flock to him instead of him paying the girls. Just something to think about.

I would not recommened you go down this path for many reasons. First off you have only had sex with one man and he is your husband. Your bad sex life with him is as much your fault as it is his. Have you told your husband that you are not happy in bed or do you simply pretend everything is ok? I think you should tell your new husband how you feel about your love life and work with him to improve it. There are many things you can do to spice up your relationship together.

Don’t run to another man just because you are too shy to talk to your husband and share your feelings.

Good luck!

I want my wife to have sex with another man.

crazy hubby says:

Hi dear Anjali aunty, I am trying to do a crazy thing, please help.

I have been visiting this blog for couple of years now & really appreciate the advice, guidance & suggestions given by you. It’s really nice to know that from our country there is some one to whome we all can turn to get answers, advice to these complicated things which is seen as uncommon in our country.

Now I think I need your precious advice. It’s been just over a year since I got married to a very beautiful girl. she loves me a lot & so do I. Sometime back I took her to one of my office party & there one of our collegue was literally looking at my wife & I don’t know why but I really got turned on by this, I don’t know whether this is normal among other newely married husbands, but that’s what I felt.

From that day I started thinking about what if my wife has sex with him. When I went to my office I went to him & frankly asked him why was he staring at my wife & he started complementing my wife’s beauty & I just cut the topic there. After couple of days I met him again & we sat down & I frankly told him that I really liked when he was staring my wife & he also expressed his desire to bed my wife with him & I told him that I’ll have to first find out whether my wife is intrested in this & this is where I need your help.

Although he has seen my wife in the party, I don’t think my wife would remember him since they never met. I thought to my self that I’ll introduce him to my wife & he can try & seduce her & finally he can have her & infact this is the plan we worked out. Now I just can’t go to my wife & ask her that would she like to have sex with this guy, I am afraid that incase she doesn’t like it our relationship would be strained. So before doing anything I want to make sure from her actions whether she likes or would accept extramarital sex if it happens to her & I request you to please tell me the signs I can get from her if she was intrested in this kind of things.

Please tell me in our day to day life what are the signs I should look for which would indicate that my wife likes or wouldn’t mind having sex with another man. If the signs from her are positive only then I will goahead & introduce him to my wife. I don’t want my wife to come to know that I am involved in this & if all goes well & once my wife has had sex with him, then I am planning to slowly let her know that I knew about this & it was perfectly OK with me & want to reassure her that I still love her as much as I did before this incedent, if at all this incedent takes place.

So aunty please let me know what are the signs I should look for which indicated that my wife likes adultrous things & any advice regarding this, any do’s & dont’s are well come.

Reply as soon as possible, will be waiting.

Aunty Anjali says:

Hi Crazy Hubby.

First off I think you are walking down a really dangerous road here. That is not to say that it can’t lead to a great and open sex life with your wife for the rest of your days but there is much greater chance that the whole thing blows up in your face and you are left with a broken relationshiop or even a divorce.

I would say that most men have fantasies of extra-marital sex wether it is the hubby having sex with another woman, or the wife having sex with a man or threesomes and more somes. This is just the way guys think it seems. The reality is that these fantasies rarely play our the way you invision. Most of the time one partner is not that intersted and the rest of the time there are jealousy issues at stake.

Having said all that if you still want to give it a try, you need to start with the conversation on this somehow. Joking about it always works. If you see a sexy movie scene make a comment about it or maybe you notice a stranger looking at her, make a sexy comment, or perhaps you catch her looking at a stranger. If you make your way to a beach, catch her looking at a well endowed man and make a comment like “he looks like he packs a real punch” or something like that. See what her reaction is to these comments.

The best advice for not breaking up your relationship over this is to take your time. Make sure that she is into it before you come out and say something.

Maybe some readers of FSI blog have done this before and can comment on how they got their wife or husband into this. Just ignore the comments like “just tell her to do it”
Good luck!

My girlfriend is older and I cum too quick.

Sham says:

Hi Anjali,
Im 24years guy, working in dubai. Im having a problem in sex, i have a girlfriend she is 10years elder than me & when ever im having sex, leave my dick into her im loosing my control & sperm cum with in 2 – 3minutes… Even though im getting ready for a another shot with in couple of minutes… when im doing like this time im getting control for nearly 10-20minutes, is it im ok?

How to avoid pregancy in normal sex (without condom)? There is any problem will be in the future when im having with sex with elder one?

Im a sex lover also, when ever im having sex with my gf, In one night we use to have 5-6times. There will be any problem in the future bcoz of this!!

Please help me

Aunty Anjali says:

Hi Sham.

First off you are just like most men. You don’t last all that long on the first go around and then can control yourself as long as you need for the second and third times. This is quite normal.

If you want to have a long first session you can just get your girlfriend to give you a blowjob or handjob first and get that first pop out of the way. Then you can give her an orgasm or two using your fingers and tongue while your cock regenrates for the next session. If you repeat this formula you are in for a orgasm filled night!

Sex without a condom is never a good idea and you will always risk pregnancy without it no matter what anyone says. Make sure to to use one at all times. Even beyond pregnancy is the risk of STD. Be safe and use a condom please!

As for your age difference there is nothing really to it. Women reach their sexual peaks at age 35 so your girlfriend should be hornier that ever right now. Have all the sex you want. You have nothing to fear here!

Good luck and don’t be a fool, cover that tool!

How can I make her cumm?

Confused Lover says:

Hello Anju,
I have some theoretical knowledge about female orgasm. But I need your big advice about how to get into Climax of Female orgasm. And How to keep my GF to cooperate with me to meet climax.

I am 23M. My GF is 24. I do have sex with my GF for 3 times per month. The entire sex session would be like 6 hours per day. We complete atleast 3 full sessions per day. Some times I take 30 minutes to ejaculate.

I love to satisfy her by doing much foreplay. You know, Most of the time she feels like heaven. I slowly fingering and lick her “Gates of Heaven”. I keeps doing it like 10 minutes. She becomes more hot and she moan lound & sometimes she cry.. When I reach 12 to 15 minutes of doing this continuously.. Her body goes very tight and she laugh like a devil for 2 minutes. She laugh , laugh, laugh and stops me forcefully to do it.

I am really expecting to give her a full orgasm and let her to ejaculate. You know I try this every day we meet private. When we nearing to climax she starts laughing like a real devil and she says.. She cannt do anything in that time..

Whats the problem? Do all girls laugh like ghost when they reach climax of ejaculation?

I never seen her ejaculate

Yours Lovingly,
Confused Lover

Aunty Anjali says:

Hi Confused Lover.

I think the problem here is simply that you are confused as to what an orgasm is and what an orgasm is not!

From reading your message your girlfriend is reaching orgasm with her devilsh laugh and the fact that she pushes you away forcefully. When she does that it means her body can no longer take anymore pleasure since it has reached its climax!

When you talk about making her ejaculate you are talking about something different. What I think you are reffering to here is what is called squirting. Making larger amouts of liquid squirt from the pussy. This is not possible in all girls. You see it in the videos but its not always real and teh ones that are real is not possible with all girls.

You should be happy to have your girlfriend moan and groan like she does and she should be very happy that she has a gifted tongue man like you.

Cheers,

Alcholol and penis questions.

rahul says:

hi anjali

im facing big problem during foreplay with my gf i ejaculate within 5 mins.after few hrs when i get erection again during foreplay i get ejaculate again between 20-25 mins.when i consume some alcohol after eraction then i will nt face problem.

PLS RPLY SOON……

Aunty Anjali says:

Hi Rahul.

You are just like most men. You ejaculate too quickly for your own liking, 5 minutes is about average for most men to cumm. You can work on this by yourself using a stop and start technique I have described many times in my column here. Basically masturbate until you are ready to cumm and then stop until teh urge goes away. Start stroking again and stop when you reach teh melting point again. Keep doing this over and over. Eventually you will master the urge to cumm and be able to hold it as long as you need.

Now if you don’t want to go through all the practice why not masturbate real quick before your GF comes over so you can skip right to the 20-25 minute sessions with her? That would be a smart move and one I reccomend guys to do.

As for your booze question. This is normal since alcohol desensitizes your body and you will be able to last longer. Just don’t drink too much or your penis will not get erect at all!

Good Luck.

Cheers,

Is masturbating harmful?

Vineet says:

hie anjali,
I need ur help i know that masturbating is harmful , i hv been doing from past 4 yrs now i m in 12th……So plzz first tell me the harmful effects of masturbating and tell me all the steps to leave it totally…………i want to concentrate on my studies so plzzzz give me all the steps to stop it fully……..thanks

Aunty Anjali says:

Hi Vineet.

I would like to know where you heard that masturbation is bad for you. That is a big myth for you. There is no harm in masturbating as much as you want. Well physically anyways. You can not do yourself any harm from masturbating.

The only dangers would be if it starts to become a problem in your life because you miss work or school because you just want to play with your cock. What you need to do is just use it as a reward for yourself if this is the case. Tell yourself you will give your penis a good whacking after your finish your daily studies that way you have motivation.

Stopping it fully would be really hard especially for a teenage boy! Its like asking him to stop breathing.

Good Luck.

Cheers,

How can I give better handjobs?

shruz says:

hii Aunty,
I appreciate you for doing such a great job

This is the 3rd time i ma posting here

here I am posting my problem
I am Shrujaj a 21 years female from Andhra .

My problem is………

I have a cousin who is of 18 years . We are very close to each other from a long time . we both even see porn movies together , but never tried intercourse . Now the problem is that he ask me for a handjob till he cum ( He usually don’t cum early ) whenever he comes to my home I’ll follow that and even I enjoy that but I am scared what happens when my parents come across this thing ???????

so , I ask You to tell me some tips or some secrets which makes him cum earlier !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Waiting for your answer

Aunty Anjali says:

Hi Shruz.

You know my feelings on cousins having sexual relations so I won’t comment on that. Since you two are already participating these activities I will give you some advice.

First off please don’t have sex together. Its just not the best way to go about it. Sex should always happen with people outside the family.

If your parents catch you they will surely be dissappointed at it all. Maybe not so much that you are giving a handjob but that you are giving a handjob to your cousin and under their roof. They will probably try and stop the two of you from being around each other.

Reluctantly here is my quicker handjob secrets. Make sure to use lots of lubrication. Some massage oil or even saliva will work here. As a girl I am sure you have plenty of lotions. Next start slow and get faster quickly. The faster you pump the faster he will cumm. Next you can try to massage his balls as this feels good for men but be gentle. You can also try to play with his ass if he lets you. The male G-Spot is located there.

Again no sex for the two of you please!
Good Luck.

Cheers,

Im 18 can you tell me about masturbation?

lucky singh says:

love u anjli aunty u are doing a great job of helping people, i wish u continue it forever i have not done sex till now i am 18 years old boy, i want to ask u about the techniques of doing masturbating i dont feel much pleasure now in masturbating tell me about new positions.

secondly my penis is bent towards towards my left slightly it doesnt pain nor it obstruct i masturbating is it all right

please please please answer me

Aunty Anjali says:

Hi lucky singh.

At 18 you should be having the time of your life masturbating in all sorts of crazy ways. I am conserned that you do not feel pleasure from doing so. Every guy I talk to tells me that any orgasm is a good orgasm.

Sometime ago I wrote a piece on different masturbation techniques. Here is the link to the article.

Read that and give them all a try.

As for your bent penis….there is nothing to worry about. All penises are bent to some degree. Do not stress over this.

Good Luck.

Cheers,

I only last 1 minute in bed

Tony says:

Hi i am 26 years old and married,

i was reading all question which was asked to you, i have a problem may be you will be able to help me. when me and my wife have sex i cumm very early and she is not satisfied. i am unable to last for more than 1min and then i get excited. now we dont have sex and our relationship is disturbed. help me please.

Aunty Anjali says:

Hi Tony.

Thanks for your question, I can understand how difficult it must be for you only lasting 1 minute. The excitment issue is nothing new for men. The more excited a man is the faster he will cumm.

Since you are one of the quicker cummers you should do something about this. If you are comfortable seeing a doctor you should go and talk about medication to help you get started. Viagra or Cialis work wonders for this but are expensive and you rely on pills.

Other methods that could work for you are:

• Learn the stop and start technique during masturbation. This will help you control yourself longer over time.
• Masturbate before sex as the excitement won’t be so great and you can last much longer on rounds two or three.
• Find some desensitizing cream or condoms. Make sure to use with care or you could have some numb body parts or tongues.

This should help you along your way.

Good Luck.

Cheers,

I am lonely when my husband is away

ritu says:

Hi dear anjali aunty, I am in a situation in which I shouldn’t be & now since I am here I am very confused & I need your help.

Aunty I am Ritu here, when I went through this blog, I saw that you have not only addresed pure sexual issues of people but also relationship issues related to sex & this is what prompted me to seek your advice since I am in one such issue.

I am a married girl, married now for just over a year & a half. Well the problem here is my husband’s job & the outcome of this in my life. He is in such a job which takes him abroad & he is able to come home only once in four months for about two to three weeks & he has to go back again. It’s been like this since we got married & since the last one year he has come home only three times. I have told him many times to change his job, but he says that he has signed a contract with the company & will have to do this job for the next two years before he can even think of looking for another job.

Now aunty, you can very well understand because of this our sex life has suffered & when I got married I had so many desires which are not fulfilled. Me & my husband have sex only when he comes home for those two or three weeks. We live in a flat in a city where we don’t have any relations & this makes my life even more frustrating. I understand that he also must be feeling the same way & I spoke to him regarding this & he told me that since his work is so hectic , he doesn’t even think about this & the same was with me, since I also work, I try to indulge myself in my work & never really thought about another man seriously, until now.

There is this guy who lives in our apartment, who lives in the adjecent block. Well, from the past one year, definetly he must have noticed that my husband comes home once in four months & most of the time I live alone. About four months back he started making contact with me & started approaching me. Days passed & I knew that he was intrested in me, but never thought of this anything more that a simple innocent flirt. Since I also was alone I accepted him as a friend. Initally we used to talk only briefly, when ever I used to come back from my office I used to see him in the parking area where we both used to park our cars. One day we were waiting for the lift & that was the day we introduced ourselfs in detail. He is also working & of same age group as me & my husband & not married. I asked him why he is not yet married & he told me that it is in the process & he is looking for a girl & soon will get married.

After this incedent, whenever he used to go to the local mall for shopping he used to call me & I used to go with him. Even at this stage although I knew that he is flirting with me, I took it just as a normal thing & I never thought that this will lead to anykind of relation between us & I thought that incase I find things are getting out of controll, I will stop it right there. But as of that day I thought that he is just my friend & offcourse a male friend & since I was alone, I really liked having a male companion with me & was open to going out with him for shopping may be to a resturant some times, but nothing more than that.

In between my husband also came home & by then me & that guy had become good friends & I even introduced him to my husband, since we bought & moved in to this flat recently & because of the nature of my husband’s job, my husband had never met him before. This time I really had good sex with my husband & soon it was time for my husband to leave & he left. After this I noticed that this guy was flirting more & more with me. He wanted me to spend more time with him & started calling me to go out with him almost everyday. I resisted this & tried telling him that I was tired & I can’t go out with him & things like that, but he was very persistant & most of the time his will to take me out was stronger than my resistance & I would end up going out with him for dinner, shopping ect.

One day he asked me that whether he can come over to my house for tea in the evening & I agreed. We sat together & talked a lot about eachother & came to know eachother well. I found him to be a very nice, caring & gentle guy. We got so close that since he stays alone, whenever I cooked something for dinner, he would come over to my flat & we both would have dinner together & sometimes he used to take me out for dinner. We even started playing badminton together with other same age group couples & other residents of our apartment & we used to be on the same team. When I spoke to my husband over phone, I even mentioned this, even he felt happy that I have a friend with whom I could talk to & spend some time with, since we didn’t have anyone in this city & even I never saw our relation anymore than a normal friendship.

This was going on & one day now which had become usual for me, he called me when I was in my flat, I had just come from my office, he told me that today we will go out for dinner & that day I really didn’t feel like going out & I told him too. But, as I had mentioned earlier, his will to charm me & take me out was stronger than my resistance to go out & I agreed & that day in the resturant when we were having our dinner, he finally told me the thing which made me see things differently & was the cause for me to think differently now. Firstly he complemented my looks, which he does very often & thereafter he told me that if it is OK with me, he would like to take our friendship a step closer & would like to have sex with me. Well it didn’t come to me as a shock, because I knew he was intrested in me & seriously I thought that he was joking & infact laughed & told him that he has a nice sense of humour. But he told me that he was serious, my spontainous reacton was that I told him that It’s not right since I am married & soon he will be married. Well I managed to end this topic right there for the day & we came back home.

But after that day whenever we met, he made it a point to be persistant with me on this issue & I always told him that I can’t do this & we are friends. But when I am at home alone or at my office, I couldn’t help but think about him. I guess unknowingly even I started liking him & even sometimes felt that why shouldn’t I have sex with him, but I kept holding myself back. One day we were having dinner at my flat & he kept telling the same thing & he tried to touch my hand & I resisted & he immediatly backed off & said sorry. He told me that he likes me & since my husband is away, I don’t have to worry about anything. He told me that when my husband is away, why am I hesitating to have sex & trying to suppress my desires & feelings. He told me that when my husband is with me, then it is a different story & I have to be there for my husband & even tried to convince me by giving examples & told me that if my husband is away, will I stop eating till my husband comes back, then why hold back on my sexual desires. I told him that I am not yet ready for this & we finished our dinner & he went to his flat.

I started thinking about this & honestly even my hormones were kicking in & I too wanted to have sex with him, but I was controlling my self. I felt that since my husband is away & comes only once in four months, there is nothing wrong in having sex with him & we can keep doing this untill my husband comes back for good in about two years & by then he also would have found a girl & would have got married & after my husband comes back, I can just be there for my husband & lead my life & he also can live happily with his wife & after that even if we meet, it will be just as friends & nothing more that hi,hello.

Aunty I also thought about that night & I realised that I was alone with him & he was forcing me to have sex with him, but it was only a verbal forcing & when he came to touch me & the moment I resisted, he backed off. If he wanted to he could have forced me physically & I really don’t know for how long I could have resisted him & I would have accepted him finally, but he didn’t do that. He wanted to do it with my full consent & he told me that we can goahead with it only if I say yes. I feel that he is a nice man & he really cares about me & as on today I feel that I want to goahead & have sex with him.

Now if I do goahead & start sleeping with him, I don’t think anybody would come to know especally my husband & I don’t think anyone In my apartment also would notice, because everyone knows that we are friends & we are behaving that way, except now we will have our private moments in our flats, which no one would come to know. Aunty, please tell me what I should do & once I start doing this, what else I can expect & is there a posibility of any complications even though I take care that this should be done in our flats & we don’t display our affection in the open & also please advice me on how you think I should handle this & what problems if at all any you foresee in such a relation. I am sure you can sense what this may lead me to better than me because of your exposure to people & you can advice me how to avoid a problem which you think can arise because of this.

Aunty, I hope you understand the situation in which I am now & the fact that I was a virgin before I got married & I really had lot of desires in my mind before I got married, which I am deprived of because my husband’s job & it will take atleast two years for him to come back for good & when he comes back, we can live a normal married life & until then I feel that I can fulfil my sexual desires with this guy & once my husband comes back, I can get back to my husband & he will get married & we can move on.

Aunty, please advice me as I am very confused & please tell me what are the things I should keep in mind before I start to sleep with him & what are the things I should expect or do in these two years during which I’ll have this sexual relation with him.

Hope to hear from you soon…………………………

Take care & bye,

Ritu

Aunty Anjali says:

Hi Ritu

Thanks for your question. It was a long read but I understand why you had to make it so long. First let us discuss the marriage situation. It is one of the most difficult things in life to have a long distance relationship and even harder when you are married. Your husband is off around the world and very busy which makes all the lonely time for you. This is really tough and I will be honest it can break alot of relationships and causes even more marriages to lead to affairs. The world is full of stories like this.

You need to sit your husband down and tell him that this is just not working for you. That you as a woman have desires and needs. Not just sexual but emotional too. That is what a marriage is, a bond of two people. You need to tell him that something needs to change or you will have to make some changes.

As for the man next door. I would stay away from him for now. If your husband and you can work it out than you are much better off staying away from him. It will only cause problems for you. If you and your husband can not work things out maybe he could be the right guy. You seem to like him and he likes you. I don’t know who this man plans to marry or if he has a suitor yet, but that should be in discussion at a later date.

Life is what you make of it. It is far too short to be unhappy. Take the steps you need to make to bring happiness to your life. But start by giving your husband a chance.

Good Luck.

Cheers,

I love her but can’t tell her.

Sonu says:

Hai Anjali,
In my class there is a sexy girl.I love her.But I cann’t her I love Her.So. please give me some tips to say her my feelings.

Aunty Anjali says:

Hi Sonu,

Well I don’t think you love her but you are surely attracted to her. As a young man your emotions and hormones are wild, they go up and down like a rollercoaster. You fall in love all the time and it is a good thing.

Now I wouldn’t run up to her and scream out I Love You! but you can express your interest in her.

Start off with saying HI! and then smile. You will be amazed at how far this will actually get you. Once you have broken the ice with a hello you can move on to conversation. Make her smile and laugh. That is the way to meet a girl. After you have made her laugh you can ask her to go out with you. You can take things from there. Just remember if you keep a smile on a girls face she will always be receptive to you. Every girl likes to laugh and smile. Try not to be too pushy and never tell her that you love her right away. Let a relationship build first.

Most of all have some fun together. You are young and your life is ahead of you. Enjoy it!

Good Luck.

Cheers,

Some questions from young readers.

Sham says:

Hi Anjali,
This sham again, thanks for ur reply for my earlier question,

I want to know more about STD, if u can explain how it is causing, symptoms & preventing also, it will be great for all FSI blog users.

I want to know some kind of burning im facing when i masturbate after it cum, this is specially if im gonna masturbate after 1 week im facing this issue!! is it any thing wrong?

Isit anal Sex is safer? how about kissing over the anal area?

Can you suggest some kind of natural medicine like fruits nuts etc., which can give more strength during sex!!!

I hear from my friends about redbul during sex!!! isit really workout?

If u don’t mind can ask u which is the best position for sex? what is ur FAV style?

Please reply
it will be more HELPFUL for all young users!!!!

Aunty Anjali says:

Hi Sham,

Wow lots of questions here but they are good ones so let me see about answering them for you.

STD’s are a any diseases that are transmitted sexually. There is only one 100% way of avoiding them and that is not having any sexual contact. Now that is not a lot of fun so the next best method is to use a condom. Condoms are 96-99% effective in protection against STDs and AIDS when used correctly. As a young person I would suggest getting a condom and practice putting it on by yourself at home.

Anytime you feel burning in your penis you should visit a doctor. It could be nothing or it could be something that needs medical attention. Get into your doctor now!

Anal sex is always a tricky one. If you are young I would stick with regular sex when you can get it. Wait until you are bored of regular sex to try out anal. There are many complications with anal and one does have to be more careful. Stick to vaginal for now!

There are lots of natural aphrodisiac in life. Tomatoes, Oysters and Watermelon are a few that give you extra lead in your pencil. Redbull will surely give you more energy for anything you want to do but it is not specific to sex. Anything that gives you natural energy will give you more zip in bed too!

As for favorite sexual positions. I really enjoy a hot and steamy doggystyle session or cowgirl position which lets me dictate the rhythm and speed of sex. It also lets me control how deep the penis is inside me. I love the way my clit rubs on the pelvic bone of the man. Try it sometime with your girl!

Good Luck.

Cheers,

I lost my erection during sex with a hooker.

Rajiv Dutta says:

hii anjali….i am in a deep trouble after my first sex experience….i am quite perplexed after this…..i have no one to tell this but you…..please help me..i am 22 years old guy and was having sex with a hooker…

During sex period, it takes sufficient time to get my penis stiff….And after getting stiff it only stays for only 2 or 3 minutes. it didnt cum but it got loosen..after a few trying i had to give up….i am in very much trouble after this……so plzzzzzzzzzz save me…….

Aunty Anjali says:

Hi Rajiv.

Thanks for writing in, I am happy I can be here for you when you have noone else to turn to. That is my goal here to help those who don’t know where else to find it.

I would guess that your issues are more based on your mental state than anything sexual. Your lack of erection is probably caused by the fact that you were feeling guilty for having sex with a hooker. After sometime your lust for sex took over and your cock got erect. You got turned on at the prospect of getting laid.

Once the sex started you realised what was going on and your brain got the best of you once again. This is common among cheating men or men with prostitutes. They feel guilt or shame and lose their boner. Some guys just aren’t made to have sex with hookers.

I would imagine when you find a nice girl to have sex with for love or passion you will have no problems with your penis.

Good Luck.

Cheers,

What happens to boobs during pregnancy?

John says:

Hi Anjali,

I have heard that the eyes of the nipples (i.e.) the central point of the nipple opens up when a woman becomes pregnant. One of my schoolmate who is married now told this to me. She said that the upper layer of the skin which is very dark brown in colour will spread out/open up and the inner layer which would be pinkist in colour can be seen thereafter. My wife is two months pregnant but there are no such signs visible till now. Is my wife normal? Will our child face any problem related to breast feeding? Her doctor never checked her breast! It is the womb that was diagonised both the time we went to consult a doctor.

Aunty Anjali says:

Hi John,

This is certainly a curious question. I have never heard the nipples being described as opening to reveal a new layer of skin in any circumstance nevermind during pregnancy. I think what your friends are reffering to is that during pregnancy the breasts swell up with breast milk to feed the baby. I am no doctor or scientist so I don’t know excatly how it works but I do know that when the baby sucks on the nipple the breast allows for mil to pass through to the baby.

I doubt your baby will have any problems and I am sure your wife is just fine. This whole story sounds like a fable or misunderstanding of how the female body works. If you do have any worries you should ask your doctor to check her out during your next visit. He will surely agree that there is nothing wrong i this situation.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and hope that you have a healthy and happy baby.

Good Luck.

Cheers,

Can I get AIDS from finger fucking?

Montu says:

Hi Anjali, I must say you are doing a great job by replying many unknown facts of sex life to FSI users, millions of salute to you for that, now i come to my Queastion.

Are Finger Fucking to Unknown Female Partner caused any possibilities of HIV? if any one have small sore / cut (2-3 days old) and he insert it in vagina and do some finger fuck, is this really high risk for HIV.

i am desperately seeking for your reply on same question. please help…

Aunty Anjali says:

Hi Montu,

Thanks for your kind words I try to do the best I can to help as many as possible. I know in sex is taboo in India culture so it is important to try and help out sort out myths from truth.

Now finger fucking or sticking your fingers inside a vagina or ass is generally safe. There is little chance for STD or HIV. However in teh situation you describe there is an increased chance for it since you are actually exposing an open wound to possibly infected blood. Any open sores are more likely to transfer deseases. If you have an open cut then use the other finger or use a finger condom to be safe in general.

If you have aleady done this then I urge you to consult a doctor to take a AIDS test and other common STD tests. There is no sense in taking risks with this sort of stuff. AIDS is a very serious desease that should not be taken lightly. Always be safe!

Good Luck.

Cheers,

Should I have sex with my father in law?

Manjri Didi says:

Hi Anjali,

I appreciate your efforts in sharing your experience and providing such a great advice / services on a subject in which no individual has full knowledge.

I am writing to you for an advice, as my problem is unique. I am saying so as I have tried raked through your archives to find out if you have replied to any such problem earlier, but I did not succeed. In view of the above I am approaching you for advice; please arrange to post your reply on priority. I know that you must be getting hundreds of mails but I think that you will like to reply to this mail and help many others facing the similar situation.

My problem is:

I am 25 years of age married 4 years ago and have a 6 months old baby. For the last three months my husband has been deputed to a foreign country on official work and tenure is three years. He will be visiting us for a period of thirty days after every 11 months of stay abroad. During these last three months I find myself starved of sex life. I have tried to satisfy myself by all known artificial methods including didlos but of no avail. I am quite a horny woman and desire to have something alive inside me which give me the pulsating feeling and fill my inside up with hot fluids, but this desire is not fulfilled by artificial means.

Since my Mother-in-Law died a year ago, my 50 year old Father-in-Law has been living alone with us; therefore, I do not want to go out on date with any outsider to fulfill my desires, and leave him unattended. I love my husband and the family and I do not want to lose them at any cost, so I am not inclined to take any action which may bring bad name to the family. My feeling is that having relation with someone outside the family is like extending invitation for black mail and someday I may fall into the trap of the outsider and reach the point of no return.

My FIL is very energetic and looks much younger than his age. When standing along with my husband he is mistaken as his elder brother and no one can imagine him to be the father. I know that till my MIL’s death he was very active in sex as I could hear their sounds almost every night. Recently I also saw him jerking off in his bath while the door was open and I withdrew from his room. I wish get my desired satisfaction through him. This way I will be with no outsider and our secrets will remain confidential.

I request you to advise me what I should do. Should I suffer or should I approach my FIL. If you have other alternative, kindly reply on top priority.

Thanking you in anticipation,

Regards,
Manjri

Aunty Anjali says:

Hi Manjri,

I am happy you contacted me before acting on your thoughts. If you think sex with an outsider is a bad idea than I can tell you sex with your father in law is an even worse idea. First off he is the father to your husband. Think about that for a minute. This is a terrible terrible idea. I would urge you not to do this. Having sex with people in your family is cause for jealousy, blackmail and all sorts of problems. It is a quick and fast way t destroy your marriage.

The way to do this if you want real live sex is to travel abroad to your husband. If he comes to you every 11 months perhaps you can travel to him every so often. Is that possible? Is it possible for you to live where he is stationed?

I know there are many husbands working abroad and the wives are left at home for many many months. I do not understand why the wives try to seek sex from other men instead of travelling to see their husbands for a wild weekend or even stay with them abroad. This is surely a better idea than cheating on them and especially a better idea than cheating with their father!

I would suggest you talk to your husband and tell him about your needs and what his thoughts are. He is probably thinking the same thing and would love to arrange frequent visits with you for some hot and steamy sex!

Good Luck,

Cheers,

Can I lick my wifes ass or my finger from her ass?

ajit says:

namaste aunty,
i am writing in for the first time.i really like to try out different things with my wife.I love putting my finger inside her ass.it smells really nice and so i also want to lick my finger that went in her ass.Can i lick my finger or will i catch a disease by doing so?

Thank you aunty

Aunty Anjali says:

Hi Ajit,

Good to hear from you. I see you are starting to have some fun exerimenting with some ass play. Anal pleasures are a taboo subject but can be quite fun once you get into it. There is no issue with licking the ass or your fingers afters after finger fucking as long as your wife is free from disease in the first place.

If she is clean ( STD Free ) than you have no issues with doing as you like with her ass as long as it feels good for her. You can play with it as you like. You can lick it directly with your tongue and even stick your tongue in and out if you like. This usually produces alot of pleasure for both men and women. The ass is very sensitive and can produce earth shattering orgams.

Experiment and have fun but try to remember to shower before hand so that both of you are as clean as possible.

Good Luck.

Cheers,

I sleep around. What are my chances of STD?

Rahul K. says:

hello Anjali aunty,

First of all I really appreciate your work and I visit this site Daily for almost a year.I have one doubt I am 23 and i hangout with friends and most of the time I end up sleeping with alot of unkown girls and I make sure i use a condom but there is always a fear that the girls i sleep with might be HIV+ so and is there anyway to find out if the girl is suffering from any of the sexually transmitted Disease .I mean its obviously not possible to go for a blood test.So is there anyway like physical signs or something to check if the person is infected ? so that i can atleast be on the safer side…evn if i do have protected sex with a person infected from some sexually transmitted diseases will i get infected ??
And i kno its not a good thing to sleep around with unknown girls but come on I am young I will stop the same whn I get married or smthin…
And keep up the good work !!

I just love this site !

Aunty Anjali says:

Hi Rahul,

Thanks for your honesty in saying you are young and experimental and that you will continue regardless of what I say. It will help guide my answer to suit your needs rather than in general.

So you want to find out if a girl has any STD’s before sleeping with her. There is no magical wand you can wave over them or other litmus test. We all wish there was since it would make life that much easier. Imagine we could just ask a person to push on a piece of paper, if it turns green they are safe and if it is red they have an STD. That would make life easy.

Back to reality. There is no real way of knowning what a person has. You can inspect their genital area for any scabs or other infection but that won’t tell you much beyond active herpes or other outbreak. Most STD’s have no visible signs so you really are playing roulette.

One suggestion is to ask when the last time they had a test was. If they scramble for an answer they probably haven’t been tested. Also continue to use a condom. This will minimize the risk if you use it properly. A condom is your best friend if you like sleeping around.

Good Luck.

Cheers,

She thinks oral sex is dirty.

Vivacious says:

Hi Anjali Mam,

This is my Third post now, but i still don’t mind waiting. I know its up to u to decide whether which question should be given priority.But i have one complain that you reply similar questions like the last one “finger fuckin n AIDS” it has been asked several times and you’ve also replied most of them.If they really are your regular reader then they must know already the answer for that.

First of all thanks for being here for people like me who were hesitating to talk about their sexual as well as personal matters with somebody else. I’m really thankful to FSI blog for creating this blog an very thankful to you for answering even the silliest questions on the earth. When i got to know about FSI from a friend i didn’t know about ASK Anjali blog , here i saw you answering and helping people for their sexual & personal matters n I thought that it is the right place for me to ask my queries.

Now something about me :- I am 24 year old guy, good looking and tall. i’m in love with my girlfriend emotionally , physically and mentally. She is very cute looking, understanding and sometimes sexy when in bed . We talk a lot about sex and we’ve decided not to have sex before marriage and i respect her decision. On the Last meeting we were all alone since it was her b’day and we had drinks together ( a little more than usual) as she was staying with me that night. When we moved to bed i started kissing her n biting her , she got horny & i removed her top and sucked her nipples. We did nothing more than this before. This time i also removed her shorts and panties and she was nude in total. Then she removed my tshirt n shorts too. now this was the first time we were seeing each other like this. we both were drunk but i was a bit in my senses. She climbed on me and started rubbing her cunt against my dick in cowboy position. i was horny too and had a chance to fuck her but i didnt and decided to please her with my fingers only. when i was done i askd her to play with and suck my dick but she refused that time and we slept.

Later on after some days when i asked her bout this . She told me that she dont like having oral sex as it is very dirty. she didnt stroke my penis because she thought that I’ll cum & she wud get dirty with cum. And she told me not to ask her to do that again.

Mam i want you tell her about oral sex and cum are they really dirty?I would make her read your reply. Mam we didnt have sex but i believe we can do up to this limit and enjoy it to its heights. I love to satisfy her urge and love the way she moans (that excites me as well) & I want her to caress & please me like the way i do. Please suggest something to her. Thanks in anticipation. I think your reply will help many guys to avoid this type of conception from their girls mind. As most of the girls feel either shy or dirty to have oral sex for the first time.

Thank you once again

Regards

Vivacious

Aunty Anjali says:

Hi Vivacious,

Im a happy you have found the love of your life. I hope that it works out for both of you so you can get married and start having some sex. Until then I do like the option of just having foreplay and oral sex. Oral sex is fun and safe for the most part and very very pleasureable.

Now as for conciving your girl friend that oral sex or cum is not dirty is no easy task. Alot of girls have the image that a penis is scary and dirty tool that should only be used for making babies. Although they are more than happy to recieve all sorts of oral and finger pleasure themsleves.

Oral sex is only dirty if the guy does not wash before hand. Make sure to have a good long shower with lots of soap. Also make sure to eat lots of sweet fruit before oral sex so that your sperm tastes fruity and sweet.If you keep your self clean and trimmed there is nothing dirty about it.

As for cumm, again some girls love the taste of it and some don’t. There is nothing dirty about it. It is just natural products of the male body and the only icky thing about it is that it is slightly acidic. It is not bad for you and as long as you are STD free there are no health risks.

If you are reading this Vivacious girlfriend. Give it a try before you say you don’t like. You may find yourself addicted to giving oral pleasure.

If none of this works on your girl you could always refuse to please her and see how long she holds out now that you have shown her what pleasure really feels like.

Good Luck.

Cheers,

How both of us reach orgasm?

Raj Says:

Hi, Aunty Anjali. I have a problem during sex with my girlfriend, she dosen’t
have a orgasm. When we have sex, I last longer than 20 minutes. I also do not have a orgasm. Please tell us how we we can solve our problem.

Anjali says:
There are many other couples out there that have the same problem that you and your girlfriend are having. I know when I am having sex with my boyfriend, I like to have alot of foreplay. That means, I like for him to lick my pussy and nibble on my clit. He can usually bring me to orgasm more than once.

I would recommend that you and your girlfriend have a longer period of foreplay before getting right into penetrating sex. What you should do is while you are kissing her, take your hand and slowly slide it down her body. Once you reach her pussy, take your thumb and lightly stroke her clit. While you are stroking her clit, take your finger and slide it into her pussy. After a little while, replace your thumb and finger with your mouth. Pay special attention to her clit. Lightly scrape your teeth across her clit, suck on it or flick it with your tongue. Also, have her take your cock deep into her mouth, lick it and lightly stroke your balls.

By doing this, you are ensuring that both of you are getting stimulated enough to acheive orgasm. By increasing your foreplay, both of you will achieve your ultimate goal. ORGASM.